Tuesday, December 03, 2013

Why Is Zimbabwe Condoning Gender-Based Violence?

Why is Zimbabawe condoning gender-based violence?

December 3, 2013 Opinion & Analysis
Ruth Butaumocho Gender Forum
Zimbabwe Herald

It has become a common occurrence in Zimbabwe to wake up to gruesome news of a brutal attack, rape, or even murder of women and children over different reasons. The majority, if not all of these, are tied down to gender-based violence, an old phenomenon.
Sadly, GBV has become a cause of concern.

Hardly a week passes without the media carrying a story of a tragic fight by a couple.

Most of these fights have resulted in the death of a partner or both over very simple issues.

Three weeks ago the residents of Bulawayo woke up to the sad news of a woman who had both her eyes gouged out by her husband on allegations of infidelity after he found some messages in her WhatsApp account, deemed to have come from a boyfriend.

Instead of seeking to understand the origins of the message, the husband, in a fit of rage, immediately pounced on the hapless woman, gave her a thorough beating and gouged out her eyes with an unidentified sharp object.

Barely a week later, a man killed his wife in Banket on allegations of infidelity after discovering a stranger’s phone number in her phone.

The man tried to commit suicide but was restrained by his neighbours, who immediately handed him over to the police.

These incidents clearly illustrate that the issue of GBV has taken different but unprecedented forms, in a clear indication that the problem is continuing unabated despite the existence of legislation, which makes it a criminal offence.

Cases of GBV were quite prevalent in the high-density suburb of Mufakose where I was raised.

However, most of the cases were not serious and often consisted of slapping, ranting and raving from both parties, but these altercations were rarely fatal so to speak.

One of the reasons could have been because the extended family and the community were largely responsible for each other, with the abusers being chided and sometimes reprimanded for their violent tendencies and often excluded from community activities.

However, this is no longer the case today and it appears that the notorious abusers, instead of being condemned, are being accorded heroic status for being disciplinarians.

If surely our society didn’t condone violence, would Zimbabwe be ranking high among the countries that recorded the highest cases of GBV that cuts across sex?

Am I wrong then to say that the society that we live in now strongly advocates violence to solve any problem that we may face as a nation?

It’s saddening to note that the church, that was once the vanguard of moral values, is now at the forefront of perpetuating these heinous acts or turning a blind eye to different forms of gender-based violence.

If anything the church has been found wanting in issues to do with rape and physical violence among married couples.
Abuse and rape cases are now very rampant in the church, with claims of sex orgies — happening right in the House of the Lord — now the order of the day.

Even some pastors — who are revered and anointed men of God — have been fingered in heinous cases like rape and sodomy, casting a doubt on their role as vanguards of morals.

On the other hand marriage counsellors in the church continue to preach submissiveness to abused women, instead of coming up with practical solutions to solve these problems.

As the nation takes part in the commemoration of 16 Days of Activism against Gender Based Violence, it is worth mentioning that women aged between the ages of 15 and 45 are more likely to be maimed or die from male violence than from cancer, malaria, traffic accidents and war combined.

More often than not, we have come across cases where violent acts such as rape, female genital mutilation, or extremely physical abuse are used to intimidate, humiliate and discredit women, denying them political and economic weight in society and forcing them into silent, second-class citizenship.

Beyond just personal injury, GBV also results in marital rape, unwanted pregnancy, severe psychological trauma and does promote a society full of angry and violent people.

Gender-based violence should not be allowed to happen and should not be justified as basis of disciplining an errant spouse.

I always tell friends and relatives alike that GBV is the worst form of abuse that any human being can ever endure in silence, no matter what the circumstances may be.

Those who have been and are still in abusive relationships will attest that they just didn’t start by getting a bashing, but the level of abuse started very small.

They would often be chided, shouted at in front of the children for cooking the evening relish poorly, forgetting to lock the front door, or better still, hosting visitors in the absence of the man of the house.

From there, the abuse gear gets into a higher mode — where you are called all sorts of names from being a “deranged good-for-nothing woman” to a “harlot” — right in front of the children and all the neighbours or anybody who cares to listen.

Before you know it, blows will start flying from all angles.

Instead of friends and relatives solving the problems, many will actually cheer on, accusing the wife of being errant, saying:

“She must have angered the man, hapana munhu anongorohwa pasina zvaaita.”

I always say walking away from an abusive relationship should be a personal choice, because people often make a decision to stay in abusive relationships, either for financial, personal, or social gain.

Whatever the reasons may be — at the end of the day the society and the community at large should also make an effort to curb all forms of abuse and even go further to educate those in abusive relationships to seek help before it is too late.

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